Young Fathers
What does parental responsibility mean?
As the father of a child you have a duty to maintain the child until it leaves school by paying a proportion of your income. This can be done inside the relationship or, if it breaks up, either through agreement with the child's mother or through the Child Support Agency. This is your responsibility even if you weren't in a long-term relationship with the mother when the child was conceived.
If you are not married to the mother of your child, you won't have automatic parental responsibility - even if you are living with the child's mother.
Getting parental responsibility
You can get equal parental responsibility under any of the following circumstances:
- Registering the child's birth jointly with the child's mother;
- Making a parental responsibility agreement with the mother;
- Acquiring a parental responsibility order from a court;
- If you are appointed as guardian;
- If you marry the child's mother.
Legally, parental responsibility goes on until your child reaches 18 but as they get older so the law assumes that your child is more capable of making their own decisions.
What are the responsibilities?
As a parent (with parental responsibility) the Children's Act 1989 says your responsibilities are 'all the rights, duties, powers, responsibilities and authority which by law a parent of a child has in relation to the child and his property'.
This includes:
- Safeguarding and promoting a child's health, development and welfare;
- Financially supporting the child;
- Providing direction and guidance to the child;
- Maintaining direct and regular contact with the child;
- Acting as a legal representative until the child is 16 if required;
- Ensuring that the child is suitably educated;
In order to fulfil these responsibilities there are certain rights that can be used by the parent. These can include:
- Having the child living with the person with responsibility or having a say in where the child lives;
- Controlling, directing and guiding the child's upbringing;
- If the child is not living with you, having a personal relationship and regular contact with the child;
- Acting as a legal representative until the child is 16 if required;
- Choosing the child's name, but there may be restrictions on changing a child's name;
- Choosing the child's education;
- Being the person to give consent for medical treatment, issuing passports, adoption and marriage for a child under 18;
- Choosing a guardian for the child;
- Making decisions about the child's property on the child's behalf and for their benefit.
A new baby under your roof can bring chaos into all aspects of your lives. Things will settle down, but until you've established some kind of routine you can expect difficult days ahead. Here are a few tips that might help:
- Get to know your baby son or daughter by involving yourself in day/night care - it might be hard work, but it's the surest way to bond
- Rest when you can.
- Make time for yourselves. You're still a couple, despite this new addition. Taking care of your relationship might be the last thing on your mind, but it will benefit you both.
- Don't rush into resuming your sex life if she doesn't feel up to it. The physical and emotional impact of having a baby can be draining for you both, but especially on the mother. By all means talk about it, and stay in tune with each other's feelings.
Review how things are going. Chances are you'll both make mistakes. What matters is that you learn from them, and from each other.
